


Robotics

by thomasjeffersonsmacaroni



Series: The Other 51 [43]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gay Robots, M/M, i want to read that fanfic lmao, why is that a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10866153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni/pseuds/thomasjeffersonsmacaroni
Summary: The adventures of Kerhs Oturan.





	Robotics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leo (not the AO3 user but my brother)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Leo+%28not+the+AO3+user+but+my+brother%29).



> Happy birthday, dear Leo! We've gone through so much as brother and sister, and I wouldn't replace you with any other sibling. :)

The bus dinged as it arrived at its next stop, and almost instantly, there was a rush of people flooding out. They moved as one, effortlessly multitasking, looking at the timetable and at their watches and at their phones, figuring out where they were supposed to go next. It was so easy for them. They had done it every day.

One boy lagged behind, fumbling with the latches of his suitcase, making sure that everything was impeccable, not entirely sure what to do. The leather of the case's handle dug deep into Kerhs's metal arm, and it took everything in him not to burst into tears.

The young boy managed to get to the stop and check the times table, matching it to what he knew in his database. He remembered standing with his eyes closed, information being logged into his brain while he was helpless to stop it.

He needed to take the bus to Station 6. He was there now. Then, he needed to get to Station 5 and walk to his new apartment. The bus to Station 5 would arrive at 6:40, which was in just five minutes. He could wait that long. He could wait that long. He could.

Everything was overloading Kerhs's mind, every single little detail of the environment pouring itself through his senses. The city was so wide, so intense, so terrifying. Kerhs had never imagined that such intensity could ever exist in the world.

But he was here to fit in. And fit in he would.

After all, it was sunrise. And sunrise meant new beginnings.

 

"Kerhs Oturan, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Ma'am was a way to show politeness to a girl. Kerhs knew that already.

"Looks like your room is 304. That'll be on the third floor. And remember, call me if you need anything."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Would you like to go up there now or eat dinner now and go up later?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Kerhs had been running automatically, and as soon as he spoke, he realized what he had done.

_Oh, no. I'll be found out as a robot. Oh no, no, no..._

The woman's face screwed up into frustrated confusion. "What do you mean?"

Kerhs shook. "What I meant to say was, I'll go up now. I'll eat later."

"Very well. Good night, Mr. Oturan."

"Good night."

She watched his retreating form with a frown on her face.

 

Back upstairs, Kerhs ordered room service food and ate it while reading his laptop. Coincidentally, there was some kind of joking guide advising aliens about how to behave in the modern world, and he scrolled through it and took meticulous notes in a small notebook that sat by his side. He needed to be confident. He needed to fit in.

And he would start the next day. After all, he had made it here, and he deserved a break from that.

 

Before he had arrived, the mysterious person who had programmed Kerhs and sent him off had also arranged for him to have a retail job. So that was where Kerhs went, waving hello to the receptionist on the way, forgetting to eat breakfast.

"Hello!" he said, brightly and cheerfully, to the man who was supposed to be his new boss. "I'm Kerhs. How are you?"

"Kerhs Oturan?" the man said sternly.

"Yes, sir."

"Go grab a smock over there and head to Aisle 21. We don't have time for small talk. It's time for business."

"May I get some food before I begin, sir? I forgot to eat breakfast."

"Well, that's your fucking problem, isn't it? Go work. You don't want to get fired on your first day."

Kerhs bit back a sigh and went there, waiting for his first customer.

She was a young girl holding a bag of chips who smiled shyly as she walked up to him. Kerhs followed the instructions he had been given and scanned her item before putting it in the bag. The whole time, he made no eye contact with her; after his terrible experience trying to initiate a conversation, he didn't want to mess up again.

"Have a great day," the girl said pointedly, and he nodded in response, finally daring to look up at her.

Her face was curved into the lines of sadness as she stormed off, though it was obvious that she was holding it back for his sake. It took everything in Kerhs not to burst into tears.

 

During his lunch break, Kerhs sat with some other workers: two guys and a girl. The guys, as he soon learned, were named Tyler and Drew, and the girl was named Sophie.

"What do you like to do in your free time, uh...Kerhs?" Sophie asked him.

"Not much, really. I like to read, though. And go on walks."

"Oh, that's so great! What are some of your favorite books?"

" _Harry Potter_ for sure. And some others."

Drew laughed and nudged him. "Hey, man, I _love Harry Potter!_ Who's your favorite character?"

"I know it's cliché, but Harry. Harry's so good."

Kerhs had, in fact, read the _Harry Potter_ series on a binge the night that he came, along with other novels, in order to make himself appear more cultured. He wasn't lying when he said that he liked Harry, though. Somehow, the young wizard managed to capture his emotions perfectly.

"Really?" Tyler asked, poking his head into the conversation. "I like Ron. Ron's way too underrated."

Sophie laughed. "Hey, guys, did you know that there's going to be a _Harry Potter_ festival tonight at the park? You want to come?"

 _I'm making friends. I'm making_ friends!

"Yeah, sure."

Around the circle were nods of agreement. And then, they all bumped fists and broke apart.

 

When Kerhs arrived at the festival, he was wearing an old T-shirt and jeans, and he shook with nervousness as he waited at the spot where his new friends had agreed to meet him. While he leaned against a tree, marveling at the sights, a woman walked up to him, smiling shyly.

"Excuse me, sir?" she asked. "Do you know where the Hippogriff is?"

"No, I'm sorry," Kerhs said.

"Oh. Okay. I'm Cassidy, by the way."

"I'm Kerhs. It's lovely to meet you."

"So, do you like Harry Potter?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm here."

"Me, too. I'm a Gryffindor."

"I'm a Hufflepuff, I think. I haven't taken the test yet."

"You can take it on my phone later. Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"What kind of favor?"

Cassidy leaned in, and he bent down so she could whisper in his ear.

"My ex-boyfriend is going to be here. I want to make him jealous, so can you spend time with me pretending to be my new boyfriend? Like, for the whole evening."

"I can't, I'm sorry. I'm waiting on my friends."

" _Please,_ Kerhs! If he sees me alone, he's going to hit on me, and I don't want that. I just want to enjoy my night."

Kerhs furrowed his eyebrows in thought. And eventually, he nodded.

"Okay. I'm sure my friends will understand."

Cassidy squealed and took his hand. It felt warm and soft, just like her, as she led him to the exhibits, marveling at how well-made they were. With her, Kerhs lost track of time, and it wasn't until they were waiting in line for a Butterbeer that he finally realized that he had forgotten to tell his friends about the new development.

He reached into his pocket for his phone, and just as he was about to, he felt three shadows standing over him.

"What's this, Kerhs?" a female voice asked.

Kerhs looked up, quaking with fear, and saw Tyler, Drew, and Sophie, all looking more upset than anything.

Tyler spoke first. "I thought you were going to spend the night with us, bro? I didn't know your girlfriend was coming along."

"I'm sorry," Kerhs said. "I should have told you. Cassidy here is using me for her ex-boyfriend to leave me alone. I lost track of time with her, and I forgot to tell you."

_I failed again. Why do I always fail? God, I'm such a fuck-up..._

"Hey, man, it's cool," said Drew, swatting away a leaf in Kerhs's hair. "We all make mistakes. Cassidy, want to come with us into the mock Room of Requirement? We'd love to meet you."

"Sure!" she said brightly.

Tyler and Sophie patted Kerhs on the back.

"It's okay," she whispered. "We all make mistakes. I'm sorry for getting so upset at you."

 _Maybe,_ Kerhs thought as he smiled hesitantly, _things will be okay after all._

 

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, the thought of everything being okay got closer and closer to reality. Kerhs still messed up sometimes - a lot, actually - but he had his friends by his side, reassuring him that "old people were assholes" and that everyone made mistakes.

Kerhs quit his job eventually; it was boring and monotonous, and he had gotten better with computers, so he moved to one where he could use that skill. The job was fun, but the people were cold to him for some inexplicable reason, and Kerhs never managed to make any friends there.

That didn't matter. After all, he still had Tyler, Drew, Sophie, and now Cassidy. And they made everything okay.

 

"So a big new musical is going to be performing," Tyler said one night when they were at Drew's house, eating popcorn and watching a movie.

Cassidy's eyes lit up. "You should totally audition! You're a great singer!"

Tyler sighed. "I don't know. I always get nervous, and I don't think I'm good enough to audition for such a big part."

"Well, for the nervousness part, we'll be there to support you," Sophie said with a smile. "And you're _very_ good. You have just as much chance as anyone. Especially since you can put down some experience."

"Yeah," Kerhs added. "You performed in plays in high school. And that one gig in Ohio."

"I guess so. I'll try out. It's next weekend, I'm pretty sure. You can come, right?"

There was silence as everyone checked their calendars on their phones. Eventually, everyone agreed.

"You can do it, Tyler. We'll always be there to help you."

Tyler pulled them all into him. "I love you all."

"We know."

 

On the day of the audition, Kerhs had volunteered to drive everyone. The time-and-energy-saving order involved Tyler at the end, so Sophie, Cassidy, and Drew were already in the car when he pulled up.

Tyler left the apartment looking panicked. "I can't find my audition papers! I can't go in without them!"

"Can you print out new ones?" Cassidy asked.

"I would, but no. My printer is broken."

"Print them out at Sophie's. She's the closest by. Kerhs, can you take us real quick?"

"Yeah, of course."

As Kerhs drove, slamming the gas pedal as hard as he could, he bit his lip in nervousness. He was only now realizing that it was _he_ who had thrown away the papers, on accident while helping Tyler spring clean. He admitted as much to his friend, who was sitting in the front passenger seat and fiddling with the papers that he _did_ have.

"I'm sorry, Ty," Kerhs said genuinely. "I swear I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

Tyler smiled, though it was obvious that he was hiding hurt behind it. "It's all right, dude. Remember, we all make mistakes."

Sophie and Tyler ran in through her front door while the others waited with bated breaths and watched the car's clock. Finally, with just five minutes left before the audition started, the duo ran in with all of the necessary paperwork, which Tyler filled out in the car.

Kerhs drove as fast as he could, but they still arrived a couple of minutes late. By the time the quintet managed to find the right room, they were late by almost ten minutes.

The audition managers had frowns on their faces, but they still let Tyler do his voice exercises before he began singing. In the meantime, all of the others in the room chatted among themselves, eventually incorporating the group into their separate conversations.

It was all overwhelming, terrifying, stressful, too much to handle, and it took everything in Kerhs not to cry. He didn't know who to talk to first, or how to combine conversations, or for that matter _any_ of the invisible, subtle social rules that seemed to plague this mysterious society.

Finally, Kerhs couldn't take it anymore. Without a word - that would push him even more over the edge - and without a single other thought, he excused himself from the room and went outside.

Outside, everything was quiet, and the fresh air allowed him to breathe. One hand rested on the stone of the wall as he looked around him, relaxing, calming down, everything feeling more and more okay by the minute. He lost track of time while he was there. It was only the slamming open of the door that brought him back to reality.

"Oh, _there_ you are!" Cassidy's voice exclaimed. Cassidy herself appeared soon enough, flanked by Sophie and Drew.

"Tyler's audition is about to begin. Where have you been, Kerhs?"

"Sorry, I was just-"

"Doesn't matter, come on, we have to go!"

The four of them ran back to the room, but by the time they had arrived, Tyler was already singing. And the sound was strange and terrifying.

Back at home, Tyler had had the clearest, most amazing singing voice Kerhs had ever heard. There was no doubt that he would land even the most top-notch role. Here, though, he sang off-key, voice quivering with every word, like a child singing in front of his parents instead of an adult trying out for a prestigious musical. It was no wonder, then, that the audition managers blew him off without even a "goodbye."

Kerhs knew that it was his absence that had caused this; Ty got stage fright without his friends in the audience, and if he hadn't left, his friends wouldn't have had to go find him. Ty seemingly understood this, too, because he stormed into the car in a huff, visible anger on his face, the likes of which Kerhs had never seen on him.

"Hey, Kerhs? I just want you to know that you're a bad friend. You missed my audition, and you probably caused me to miss my only chance at stardom."

 _It won't be your only chance,_ Kerhs wanted to say, but the words refused to come out.

"How much could it cost to be a _normal person_ for once? Come on, man. Just a couple of hours without fucking up. Can't you do that? Or are you that dumb?"

"I'm sorry, Ty. I'm sorry I made a mistake."

The rest of Kerhs's friends looked at him with the exact same anger.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Kerhs," Sophie snapped. "You can't just say 'sorry' every time you mess up and expect everything to be okay. You need to learn. But apparently you're so bad of a friend that you can't."

They kept insulting him, one cutting blow after another. Kerhs almost couldn't believe that these were the same people who had once comforted him and told him that everyone made mistakes.

Kerhs dropped them off at all of their houses. And then he took his little leather suitcase, got into his car, and drove.

Far away from the city. As far as he could manage.

He eventually got to a little countryside village with a couple of huge mountains. There, he sat onto a rock, slammed his face down into his legs, and sobbed.

 

Kerhs sat at that rock for a long, long time, doing nothing but keeping his head on his knees, ignoring how much it hurt when they dug into his forehead. Dirt swished under him, probably getting through his air vents in the soft breeze, but he didn’t care about that. He didn’t care about _anything._

He was a failure of a human and a failure of a robot. He had _one task_ – blend in with society – and he couldn’t even complete that. Now, everything was ruined. Now, _he_ was ruined.

And nothing would ever be okay.

Kerhs clutched the suitcase that he had brought with him. He wasn’t sure why he had, but he had anyway. He remembered another time when he had brought his suitcase with him, the first time he had arrived in the city, and for a brief moment, it took him away from his grief and to the very first moment he could remember.

He had been so nervous then, so innocent, and all he knew was the task of being human. Nothing was okay then, but somehow, even less was okay now.

And in that moment of thought, Kerhs thought of something else, something that was the most key part of the programming he had been given, which was logged into his database before he could even remember.

_Cold shuts a robot down forever._

Kerhs was in front of a mountain. Up on top, there was the tiniest bit of snow, and it would be night by the time he got up. He would freeze for sure. And then, he would be free from everything.

Free from his failure. Free from his disgust with himself. Free, more free than he could ever imagine, from the complex web of societal rules that he could never escape.

Free. But only if he started now.

Kerhs left the suitcase behind. A leaf blew from the tree above him, skidded on the rough leather, and flew away, landing directly in his hair. Kerhs’s hand reached up to take it off, not paying much attention to it as he began the trek.

It was hard, even for his advanced robot physique, and dirt was getting into his system more and more. It didn’t matter, of course, _none_ of it did, but it still slowed him down, and there were many, many moments when he felt like collapsing, or even going back down and beginning again tomorrow.

But he couldn’t. He needed to be up there, and he needed to be up there _now._

Kerhs took a deep breath and sat down on a rock to relax. He watched the setting sun, soft white stars already appearing in the darkness it brought with it, and something deep in his hard shivered, begging him to come back down.

Already, it was cold. But it wouldn’t be deadly unless he got up to the top.

_Just a few minutes. Just a few minutes._

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Kerhs looked up, startled, and found himself gazing in the eyes of the most beautiful man he had ever seen. His heart quickened, startled, and Kerhs placed his hand to his chest and felt it pound.

The man laughed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just coming down from my hike. Were you coming down also? I don’t think I saw you up there.”

 _No,_ Kerhs wanted to say. _I was going up. To shut myself down. To_ kill _myself._

But the words that came out of his mouth were very different.

“Yeah. I just stopped to…look at the sky. It really is beautiful.”

There was a movement next to him, and Kerhs realized that the man was by his side. He had sat down next to him, was offering a hand of friendship, was talking to him with more genuineness than he had ever experienced in his life.

No one had ever done that in the city, except for Tyler and Sophie and Cassidy and Drew, but they all hated him now. Everything had been loud and overwhelming and extreme, so overloading that Kerhs never had the time to stop and think. But now…

Now everything was soft.

“So, do you live nearby?” the man asked.

“No, just half a second away in the city.”

Kerhs’s heart quickened again, and he shook slightly with panic and got ready to run. But the man, to his surprise, laughed.

“Do you mean half an hour?”

Kerhs found himself laughing, too. “Yeah. That’s what I meant.”

“Well, don’t worry about it, buddy. One time, someone asked me how my day was, and I said, ‘you too.’ We all slip up sometimes. People tend to not want to admit it, that’s all.”

 _We all slip up sometimes._ If only more people could understand that. “Where do _you_ live?”

The man took Kerhs’s shoulder and pointed down at a small village, just barely visible in the fading light. “My house is the one on the veeeeery end of that street. See it?”

“The one right next to the pond?”

“Yep.”

Kerhs knew that some people lived in quiet places. But he had never imagined that working out for him. He needed to earn money, to blend in with society, to survive, and he couldn’t do that in a place where everyone knew everyone.

“What’s it like living in such a small village?” he asked anyway. “I’ve only ever lived in the city.”

The man’s eyes lit up, and Kerhs was astonished by how well he himself was holding up the conversation. “Oh, it’s lovely! The city is just too much for me sometimes, and I know there’s thousands of people, but I feel really alone. These small places are quiet and nice, and everyone is supportive of me. There’s some really weird stuff in that place. I’m the least weird thing they’ve seen.”

“What’s weird about you? You seem okay to me.”

“Oh, I’m gay. And they’re not mean about it or anything. I just came to a dinner with my neighbors one day without my girlfriend and with my boyfriend, and they just said ‘okay’ and asked him if he preferred steak or veal.”

Kerhs nodded. “Well, that’s good.”

After that, both of them were silent. And Kerhs mulled over this new information in his head, turning it over and over.

So this man, the man who had made him feel a way that he had never felt before, a way that was even the tiniest bit _scary_ to him, was gay. Kerhs had done his research, so he knew all about people being gay. He had never thought about the possibility of _him_ being gay, but now he wasn’t so sure.

What he had felt he described to himself as _attraction._ Now that he was talking to him, it was more like… _love._

 _Love._ Kerhs was in love, and he didn’t care who knew it. He wanted to wrap his arms around the man, to squeeze him tighter, to experience truly the love at first sight he had read about in fairy tales. To his own surprise, he didn’t pay attention to the sudden revelation that he wasn’t straight. All he cared about was the man.

“My name is Kerhs, by the way,” he said out loud. “Kerhs Oturan.”

“I’m Leo Middleton. It’s lovely to meet you, Kerhs.”

“So, tell me about your boyfriend. You mentioned him earlier. What is he like?”

People sometimes found it creepy when other people remembered off-hand details about them from earlier conversations. But Leo seemed different from any other person.

And he was. Instead of looking disgusted, or even smiling politely, he looked down at his feet and sighed.

“We broke up a little earlier this year. He said he needed to focus on his career. He didn’t say straight up that I was a hindrance to him, but I know that’s what he meant. I know these kinds of things, Kerhs. Even if I don’t look like I do.”

“I’m sorry,” Kerhs said, turning around to look him in the eye. “He sounds like an asshole. You deserve better.”

Leo laughed. “Thanks. I guess he _was_ an asshole. I was just too in love with him to see past his flaws. And I guess I was in love with the idea of being gay, too. Like, I was testing the gay waters, and I didn’t care about the person, just the fact that I was dating a man. I regret that now, of course, but…”

Kerhs nodded. “I’ve never dated a guy, but I can understand that. I’m gay, too, but I’ve only dated girls. Haven’t found anyone single and interested yet.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

Leo noticed things about people that they thought he didn’t. And apparently, so did Kerhs.

Because he saw the other man’s hand inching down the rock, fingers interlacing with his own, almost as if asking a question without saying anything. And Kerhs was ready, _more_ than ready, to answer.

He turned around and took the back of Leo’s neck with his hands, pulling his face into his own, touching lips in a way that he had never touched anyone’s before. It felt as if the feeling was overflowing him, ready to spill out, bursting out like a shaken can of soda or like fireworks on the Fourth of July, filling up more and more with every motion.

And there was something else, too. Kerhs no longer felt mechanical.

In his life, he had always felt machines whirring inside of him, making him painfully aware that he would never be a human, that he was always a weirdo or a freak and would be an outcast forever unless he managed to blend in. But now, all of that was gone.

He felt natural. He felt fleshy from bottom to top.

He felt _human._

Leo released Kerhs after what felt like ten beautiful, blissful eternities, humming softly as he moved away. And Kerhs stood up and looked at himself with the tiny little ray of sun that was shining out.

He _was_ human. Against all odds, and for reasons he didn’t understand or would ever, he was no longer trapped in the android form that had been constraining him for as long as he could remember.

“Are you going to go back home now?” Leo asked, standing up. “To the city?”

“You know what? I don’t think I want to. I brought my stuff with me. Maybe I’ll live on the streets. I just need to be away from everyone.”

Leo took him by the arm and pulled him into him. “Do you have to live on the streets? My house has seemed awfully empty lately. And I know for sure that my neighbors would love you.”

Kerhs was a tiny bit taller than Leo, so he placed his head on his and smiled softly. “I think that’d be nice. That’d be very, very nice. Just like you.”

Leo took Kerhs by the hand, and they began their trip down the mountain, overflowing with happiness with each new step. And as Kerhs grabbed his suitcase, Leo tilted his head inquisitively.

“You weren’t going down, were you? You were going up.”

“I was. I’m sorry I lied to you. I was sorta flustered. Heat of the moment.”

“It’s fine. But may I ask why? It was already dark.”

“Oh. Of course you can ask why. Let me tell you about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> His birthday is actually tomorrow (May 16), but I wanted to show my friends, so...  
> I'm not sending him the link until tomorrow, though.


End file.
